The 3 Reasons Why Netherlands Lost
by PrussianAwesomeness
Summary: Short little one-shot. Made as a joke - not intended to offend anybody. The three reasons why Netherlands lost against Spain during the FIFA final match. T for language.


**The 3 Reasons Why Netherlands Lost**

1. Calamari never lies. 

Netherlands glared at the octopus before poking the glass with his right index finger. "You're going to regret not choosing me to win," he murmured. "I got a good recipe for Calamari from Italy and I plan on using it."

Paul the octopus stared at him lazily before swimming away. Netherlands swore under his brother before lighting his pipe and walking away.

The octopus was definitely going to get his wrath if he lost.

2. Cockiness and drugs don't go together.

"Are you high, brother?" Belgium asked when she visited her brother before the game. Netherlands' eyes looked bloodshot and Belgium could smell a certain substance on him.

Netherlands shrugged. "Do I look high?" he asked.

Belgium nodded. "Yes – you do. Very," she said.

Netherlands chuckled darkly. "I guess I am then," he said. Belgium tried not to sigh in exasperation.

"Do you think it is a good idea to play the final match while high?" Belgium prompted.

Netherlands stared blankly at her. "Why not? I've been high all the other games and I won all of them," he bragged. Belgium finally sighed in exasperation. Her brother didn't seem to get it.

"But this is against Spain… Spain's team looks really good this year," she prompted. Because Belgium was aware of Netherlands' hate of Spain, she tried to rile her brother up to get him to feel some nerves before the game [she found him not being nervous slightly unnerving]. "A lot of people think Spain's going to beat you today – really badly," she said, hoping Netherlands would glare at her and start warming up or something like that.

Netherlands rolled his eyes. "So? The idiot will just get distracted by his stupid boyfriend in the audience right as the game starts. The game is mine."

"…brother…"

"Don't worry about me. You, me and Luxembourg can go drinking in celebration after I win – is Luxembourg of drinking age?"

"…no…"

"Oh well – we'll sneak 'im in. Belgium, stop looking so worried. I'm going to win – I can tell."

"Are you sure…?"

"Yes."

Belgium took that as her cue to leave. She left her brother feeling nervous and worried.

This brings us to the final reason as to why Netherlands lost.

3. Spain.

Netherlands walked to the Spanish team as they were doing their warm-ups. As Netherlands expected, Spain had an obliviously stupid smile on his face.

"Hey. You," Netherlands grunted through his pipe. Spain looked up.

"¡Hola Holanda!" Spain greeted enthusiastically as he jogged up to the Dutch man. "Good luck on the game, eh? May the best team win!"

"That will be my team," Netherlands said. Spain laughed good-naturedly.

"Oh? Well my team's been working very hard and we might give you guys a run for your money," Spain said winking.

Netherlands rolled his eyes. "I doubt that," he stated, exhaling smoke out of mouth and into Spain's face. Spain's smile did not fade and he chuckled good-naturedly again.

"Do you know what I'm going to do when I win?" Netherlands asked. Spain shook his head, curiosity in his eyes. Netherlands leaned in menacingly. "I'm gonna make your little boyfriend my bitch and dress him up like a pretty little princess." Netherlands exhaled again, chuckling darkly and said, "See you on the field," before walking away from the Spaniard.

Spain's smile faded. "My Romano?" he whispered, expression darkening. He walked back to the team. "WE WILL _CRUSH_ NETHERLANDS – WE'RE NOT LEAVING THIS FIELD UNTIL WE WIN!" he yelled over the cheers of his team.

"¡Viva España!" the men cried out, pumping their fists in the air.

A creepy, dark smile grew on Spain's face. "He will not touch my Romano," he whispered to himself.

And thus, with a single comment, Netherlands secured his fate in the final match.

Moral of this story? Spain is a scary motherfucker when it comes to Romano. **Don't mess with him.**

The End.

* * *

**A/N: This wasn't intended to offend anybody - I love Netherlands. Netherlands = SEX. :D**

**It was just an amusing idea that popped into my head while watching the game I finally decided to write it.**

**Calamari is an Italian dish for squid ok but oh well - in my head you can make Calamari with octopus x]**

**Spain really _is_ a scary mofo when it comes to Romano.**

**Reviews make Romano dress up like a pretty princess for Spain. [You know you'd like to see that.]**


End file.
